The Captain and Debauchery

Once The Captain returned from his infamous trip to Mount Rushmore, he needed to “wind down” (as he put it). What this turned out to be was even more debauchery. I would be trying to study or read, and in would walk some students that The Captain had invited over. I tried to enjoy myself in these little get-togethers, but after a while, enough was enough.

At about 3:00am one morning, I cornered him in my dorm room. I explained to him that I’m the one that brings in the money and provides food and shelter for us. He countered that he’s the one that brings in the ladies for us. I really didn’t know what to say—I realized he was right. But he graciously agreed to be a little more sensitive when it came to the partying. We finally came to an understanding, and now The Captain almost always consults me when he wants to have guests over, even now, living in Naperville.

The Captain has so much class. Sometimes I don’t feel worthy to be his roommate.