Random The Captain Fact #1

The Captain is able to speak Japanese--while standing on his head!

Strangers

The Captain says, "Don't take money from strangers, because they only want your kidneys."

The Captain Encounters Holden and Atticus

Oh, a little less than two years ago or so, The Captain first met the two wild beasts known as Holden and Atticus. These were particularly ferocious animals, and many had hitherto fled from their presence. But not The Captain. Oh, no. Not The Captain.

The Captain had at this point taken up residence in the fair city of Naperville, in the land of Illinois (pronounced Ill-i-nwah). He and I were much like the swinging bachelors we are today, only more so. But then came the beasts.

They arrived together in a nylon bag (which has since been torn to shreds), and they were as crazy as a beaten mongoose. When the bag was opened, the only discernable trace of animals were periodic blurs, as they ran hither and thither, as wild beasts are wont to do. The Captain calmly waited for them to settle down a bit, biding his time. Lo and behold! the animals did indeed calm down slightly, and they cautiously crept up to The Captain, and they smelt him. The Captain glanced keenly at them, and a friendship was instantly struck.

Holden and Atticus had been welcomed into the domain of The Captain.

Do you have any questions for The Captain? Do you wonder what he does with his winters, or perhaps where he bides his time when he's not summering in the East Andes? If so, ask away!